The assertiveness training, conflict resolution and listening skills in Be Your Best are useful for improving personal or professional relationships.
These skills have been taught at workshops effectively to millions of people all over the world. The book was adapted from the book Effectiveness Training for Women in order to help reach more people. Elinor Lenz collaborated with Adams during the beginning of writing the book.
Be Your Best is based on skills taught in the course “Effectiveness Training for Personal and Professional Development”. Some of the skills taught in Be Your Best include:
How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty
This section is brilliant and will help anyone who has ever said yes when they wanted to say no. Some common reasons for saying no are explored such as fear, guilt, desire to please, martyrdom and even desire for power. If the request is asked in the form of a challenge, certain people might be more susceptible to feeling they must prove that they can do it.
Specific communication skills for refusing requests are expanded upon such as using responsive I messages. As an example, one simple and effective suggested response is “I have decided not to”. Although it’s not always necessary, it might help by communicating the real reason why.
Dealing With Anxiety
Pretending anxiety doesn’t exist or avoiding it definitely won’t help. This chapter teaches how to accept and/or confront the anxiety in order to solve the problem that caused it. There’s a handy appendix at the end that includes simple relaxation exercises that may also be helpful in reducing anxiety.
Conflict Resolution
Learn how to deal with conflicts by preventing and/or reducing them. Linda Adams provides six steps to follow in order solve problems so that everyone wins.
Adams explains: “If you can express your feelings in self-disclosing non-threatening ways and shift gears to listen to any resistance, you may be surprised at the positive response you get from others”
- There may also be resistance, but the positive changes that happen when following effectiveness training in Be Your Best are worth it. It’s an easy to read book that encourages and teaches individuals how to meet their needs instead of trying to please everyone else.
Other informative chapters in Be Your Best (Effectiveness Training Inc., 1989, ISBN: 0399515631) include: ” Who Owns the Problem?” ,“Conflicts: Who Wins? Who Loses?”, “Modifying the Environment”, “Helping Another Person With a Problem”, “Resolving Values Collisions” and “Planning for Personal Effectiveness”.
About Linda Adams
Linda Adams is the president of the human relations training organization Gordon Training International. She’s also the author of Effectiveness Training for Women and runs workshops on conflict resolution. Adams has a Master’s Degree in Sociology and is married to her partner Dr. Thomas Gordon.
Related:
Stop Self Sabotage by Pat Pearson
Crucial Conversations
How to Say No and Live to Tell About It
Sandra Williams - Sandra's a book addict and writer from Ontario, Canada. Her interests include cooking, health and personal development, so many of her ...
